Do you have low self-esteem?
Comparing – Do you always tend to compare yourself to others negatively and feel that you’ll never measure up. Having low self-esteem can mean experiencing:
Self Loathing – you hate being yourself, punish yourself relentlessly for even small mistakes, see yourself as useless or worthless;
Perfectionism – nothing you do is ever good enough, there is never a sense of satisfaction at a job well done, cannot accept compliments;
Poor Body Image – always find something wrong with your body, compare your body unfavourably, feel self-conscious, self neglect;
Too Sensitive – any criticism feels like a dangerous attack, short-tempered and touchy with co-workers, always worried about what others think;
Eager to Please – you’ll do anything for approval, always put others first, it feels dangerous to say “no”, end up feeling like a doormat;
Need to Shop – addicted to material possessions, must have the best even when you don’t need it, always feel that other people have more than you.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem counselling can help you develop a sense of self-worth that doesn’t depend on comparing yourself to others. Make an appointment to see me in my central London consulting room.
What is low self-esteem?
To have healthy self-esteem does not mean being full of yourself; it means having a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses and still being able to like yourself for who you are. Having low self-esteem is having a negative attitude towards yourself, so that even when you do something well, you find a way to rubbish it. Even people who seem outwardly successful can suffer from low self-esteem.
When a child has parents (or guardians) who values her and gives her positive affirmation, irrespective of achievements, a sense of positive self-esteem gradually builds up inside until it doesn’t depend on others to maintain it. When parents are inconsistent or consistently negative, the child’s sense of self-esteem never becomes independent and is most often negative.
Low self-esteem can also be brought on by other traumatic events such as a divorce, redundancy, racial or sexual abuse, bullying, and other experiences where you are made to feel powerless.
There are some simple techniques that can help you to bolster your self-esteem; see some of the articles listed below in “Further Reading”. However, while self-affirmation techniques may get you out of a slump, counselling or psychotherapy will help you get to the root of your self-esteem issues.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem counselling can help you develop a sense of self-worth that doesn’t depend on comparing yourself to others. Make an appointment to see me in my central London consulting room.
How psychotherapy helps with low self-esteem
In counselling we’ll explore the patterns and beliefs (often unconscious) which undermine your self-esteem. The impartial perspective of a counselor will help you to see where your view of yourself is not based on reality but on your own negative assumptions. We’ll consider your past life, including your childhood to see where negative self evaluation might have taken root and have been reinforced; this will lead on to considering new ways of seeing yourself in relation to others.
If you feel counselling could help you contact me to make an appointment to discuss your needs
Do you have other questions about counselling?
Further reading about low self-esteem
- Self-Esteem article on NetDoctors.co.uk.
- Increase your self-esteem a pamphlet by Mind.
- The Wikipedia Article on Self Esteem makes great reading.